Lunar New Year

Happy Lunar New Year! A few days too late AGAIN. It’s the Year of the Horse, the most superior zodiac (not a biased opinion).

A few Sundays ago, my grandma, mom, two aunts, cousin, and myself went to my grandma’s house to help her make some New Year pastries, which is one of our many traditions. This year, I asked my cousin Nikki to take photos of some of the process.

We make two kinds of pastries: one savory, one sweet. The savory one contains a mixture of roast pork, chicken, dried shrimp, and veggies. I’m not really a sweets person so this one is my favourite. The second type is made of a sweet dough and is filled with a red bean paste. Both are deep fried. Actually everything we make on this day is deep fried!

(My ugly ones are not pictured here.)

Last year I couldn’t eat anything because my stomach was an erupting volcano of acid, but this year I am feeling a shit load better so I had some! And some shrimp chips. Everything was so good, especially the freshly fried shrimp chips.


After a few hours of making the pastries and…eating, I walked over to the record store near my grandma’s house and then went home to wash the insane smell of oil from myself (you’re welcome) before going out for a pre-New Year family dinner. Then our official New Years dinner was last Saturday. There’s just been a lot of eating. A LOT OF EATING A NO HEARTBURN CAN I GET A VIRTUAL HIGH FIVE OR WHAT.

Anyways, thanks to Nikki for taking photos! My blog has been slowing down, but eh, ideas come when they come.

On Using Time Wisely

Happy New Year, three readers! Happy days, happy days.

2013 went by really quickly, eh? It was good too. Well, it was alright for me anyway.

Let’s get to it.

In January of last year, there was a post on Tumblr going around about a jar. And you would keep the jar over the New Year and anytime something good happened, you’d write it down and put in the jar. Then at the end of the year, you’d open it up and read back on the positive things/events to remind yourself that they happened.

I thought what a load of shit.

To be fair, my 2012 wasn’t the best – even though I graduated and finally started to take a direction with my art practice, and got a full-time job without even trying, I got shitty as fuck acid reflux that made my life Hell, I couldn’t utter a single word because my voice was literally gone, and then my Grandpa died. So I was generally pessimistic at the time. I am usually pessimistic but it was especially…strong…back then. I was just in this mind set that mostly shit things happen and the few good things get taken for granted or aren’t as massive as the bad things. But thinking back on 2013, a lot of amazing things went down, including:

• Participating in a group exhibition, MONOMANIA II: Vancouver Emerging, at Trench contemporary art gallery
• Going on a fantastic trip to Chicago – my first visit ever to the city
• I saw The Book of Mormon in Chicago! It lived up to the hype, I’m just saying.
• Learning how to screen print at Blim
• Attended two Type Camp workshops, where I learned how to do proper hand lettering!
• Cutting my hair short! I’ve had long hair for most of my life, and I just decided to do something different
• Taking control of my shitty health situation, which included trying to keep positive, and finding a wonderful voice therapist to help me get back on track in the voice department
• Starting this blog (awwww)
• And plenty more that I can’t think of off the top of my head

So, as you’ve probably guessed, I will start a jar in 2014 and try to keep it up so I can look back in December. Hopefully a lot of good things happen!

That brings me to New Years resolutions. I was on the phone with my friend a few weeks ago, and I realized during our conversation that I actually kept up with my New Year’s resolution for 2013! Shocking, I know.

My resolution was to not be so complaisant. Without going into detail, it turns out I kept my resolution without making a conscious effort! Yay! Personal growth!

This year, my resolution is to use time wisely.

For the past few months, I’ve been letting myself slack off before and after work. I used to get up early and do some painting, go off to work, and then continue after dinner later in the evening. Back in late September/October I’d have these bouts of nausea that would leave me in bed until 9:30 am (I leave the house at 10) and when I got back home I’d just sit still and watch TV, trying not to vomit. Since then, I’ve been so lazy and giving myself excuses like I shouldn’t be disappointed in myself, or I shouldn’t punish myself ‘cause time had already been wasted. I mean, I still believe that it is important to forgive myself or to let myself relax, but I should not use it as an excuse to be lazy. Ever.

The inspiration for my resolution was this video by the brilliant Carrie Hope Fletcher. Please watch if you’d like – it’s less than two minutes long:


This video impacted me instantly. Because it’s true! It’s so OBVIOUSLY true! I think I just needed it to hear it from someone who a) isn’t my mom, and b) someone who has proof of what one can do when they value the time they have and use it wisely.

I have a Tumblr. I love watching TV (which I really need to catch up on but I spend my time on Tumblr and lip synching to show tunes and listening to records and refreshing Facebook), and I love spending my entire Sunday afternoons and money in the light of my life, Topshop. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy doing all these things, but it’s not ART WORK. If I were doing all these things but also painting, drawing, or book making, then fine by me, but I’m not producing anything. And it’s terribly disappointing. I have no one to blame but myself. I sometimes wonder why the fuck I am sitting in one place for hours on end scrolling through Tumblr (Oh Avengers, why can’t I quit you) or refreshing Facebook, which by the way I don’t even really like, when I am actually motivated to make art! Like, I actually WANT to do something, yet I am bound to a fucking computer because I can’t be disciplined. And, honestly, why can’t I paint for a few hours, then check my email (there are no fucking emails) for 20 minutes, then look at pictures of intensely attractive middle-aged British actors for an hour, before going back to art?

I can do it all, to be honest. I just have to GET UP AND DO IT. And get rid of the fear that I can’t.

This resolution is going to be difficult to execute and keep up with, I can already tell. I will work incredibly hard to continue and to motivate and remind myself of this to the point where I don’t have to make a conscious effort anymore, just like last year! I AM GOING TO DO IT. Fuck. I will.

I have a few things that I hope will get me on track for the New Year. A lovely calendar from my friend Shawna (she knows how much I like cats), a notebook I got for Christmas from my cousin Nikki, and this awesome book made specifically for lists from Wendy Oakman that I bought at TOQUE in December.

Good luck to everyone who has set resolutions and goals for this year!

P.S. I realize another resolution of mine could be to stop worrying so much but…one thing at a time. That would be too stressful.

Happy Holidays!

Happy holidays to my three readers! I hope everyone had a great Christmas. I got the stomach flu on Christmas morning and stayed in bed until Saturday. Woooo!

(Ok, I lied. I did get up to eat a tiny bit of turkey and watch another disappointing installment of Doctor Who.)

Before I got sick, I had two days of great celebrations with my friends and family, so I was not too choked.

Last Sunday, I hosted a party with some of my friends from art school. I haven’t seen some of them in ages ‘cause of school and work, so it was great that we could all get together and eat and have a chat (and play Idina Menzel songs in the background). This year, instead of doing Secret Santa, we all agreed to do a card exchange!

I had this grand idea to write a post about gift giving and getting together and blah blah blah, but it was dry and felt insincere so whatever. So...have some pictures.

I take really shitty pictures, just to warn you. But my intentions are good.

I'm the idiot that's way too close to the camera. Anyway, see you in 2014!

On Acid

Anytime I catch up with someone I haven't seen for a long time, the first thing I talk about is my health. Yes, I am one of those people who complains a lot about shit that happens to me. Somehow I have friends and make it through the day.

To make an extremely long story short I began to have frequent mild heartburn in May of 2012, which led to severe acid reflux later in October, which led to me almost losing my voice completely for months, leaving me really scared, confused, helpless, and unhappy.

The acid reflux was really painful (chest pains/intense pressure, liquid-y burn-y feels in my general everywhere), metallic tasting, saliva and post-nasal drip inducing, and just plain awful. Anytime I ate it was like poking at a volcano, and none of my usual remedies worked – not the extra fiber, water, or ginger tea that I had come to kind of rely on if ever I had a bit of heartburn. I began to feel sharp pain right in my vocal cord area, and one day my voice just left. I literally had, say, 5% of a voice for at least five or six months before I could even begin to speak without pain radiating from my larynx.

To say this was a shitty time in my life would be an understatement. I think it’s terrifying when your body, the one thing you think you’ve been familiar with for so long, just changes inexplicably. Almost like it betrays you. And the change is confusing, new, and the remedies are vague because maybe there is nothing that can stop it. And it's even worse when you're unable to vocalize anything you're feeling or thinking.

PAUSE!

Maybe you’re wondering why I’m blogging about this? Is it so I can give people a link when they try to offer me a slice of pizza or ask me to speak a little louder?

The reason why I wanted to start this blog and post about this kind of stuff is that I feel a lot of GERD and acid reflux-related blogs are buried in the Google-verse by sites with standard medical information and the same home remedies. I wanted to read about real people who were also going through it, whether they were keeping a food journal, or just complaining about the pain and the fear.

So I decided to put my experience out here in hopes that this post can get to someone who is going through it too. I am fucking cheesy, ok, two posts into my blog and I have revealed myself as a sentimental arse, but hear me out. Another person’s story will be different, but I’d love it if someone read this and was like, “yeah, I have this too and I am confused and scared as fuck, but I’m not the only one.” Millions of people get acid reflux, so I am no special snowflake, but statistics are never comforting.

And once I establish this blog, a bit more, you will notice that what I want to support more than anything is the idea that having acid reflux is different for everyone. It happens for different reasons, feels differently, and is helped by different remedies for everyone. Alas, I do not have any universal answers - the only thing I am certain of is that you should experiment once you're comfortable doing so and see what works for you. Which is something I definitely plan to address in future posts.

Un…pause?

Anyways, I immediately began a strict diet according to internet research, and tried everything only to continue having this crazy as hell reflux. I put those old Twilight books to good use and raised the head of my bed, and stopped eating after 9pm. I tried a plethora of proton pump inhibitors (Tecta, Prevacid, some other thing where the side effect was seizures if I didn’t eat enough magnesium – woohoo! That really helps with the anxiety!) and I just felt they didn’t work for me. I don’t recall there being a time where I was on medication and had no reflux. It would always come back – sometimes less severe – but it was still there. I took medication well until June 2013. The thing is, after I took these proton-pump inhibitors, I really just felt like they didn’t work for me, like “too much acid” wasn’t my particular problem. There were even times when I felt worse after taking them.

I also started doing acupuncture for it. It's always a good idea to seek a more natural remedy sometimes, I think. It seemed to help at times, and I do go back occasionally for it.

As for my voice, I had to write on pieces of paper to communicate with people. Anytime I tried to speak, hardly any sound would come out, and my throat would be so sore. Fuck, right. I went to the Pacific Voice Clinic, which I am so grateful that we have here in Vancouver. We took a look at my vocal cords, and they seemed to be fine, which was a relief to me. My voice was about 60% better then. Dr. Morrison, the ENT at the Voice Clinic, told me about how the voice and acid reflux are connected. Basically, when your esophagus senses the acid, it sends a signal to your brain to close the voice box in order to protect the respiratory system.

I’m guessing this, the emotional stress/anxiety over the whole situation, and the development of poor speaking habits contributed to my past and current vocal problems. It is a bit shit, though, to hear that the only way to get your voice back is to “manage your reflux” when you feel helpless and have no idea how to “manage” it. My voice did seem to begin to get better on its own, until June when it got shitty again. Yay, wow, isn’t that swell, hey. Thanks, body, thanks so much.

I even made a sad song playlist about it. Sad.

So what about now?

It has been over a year since the day I completely lost my voice for the first time, and I am still working on it. The reflux doesn’t come everyday in full force anymore, which I am grateful for. I am doing voice therapy sessions, which have helped me not only think about the voice and how to maneuver it, but also to help me confront my anxieties about my voice. This is something I’m still working on, and I feel will take a long time. But hey, it’s been a year already, why not carry on if it obviously wants to stick around and fight me. I don’t plan on being defeated anytime soon. Easier said than done, but I can keep trying for now.

I did a pH test this past summer, which I hear is one of the best things you can do to test your reflux. Basically, I had a tube thing shoved up my nose and down my throat that was attached to a monitor that looked like a 90s Walkman that I wore around my waist for 24 hours. I wish this upon no one. And of course, the results said I DON’T HAVE THAT MUCH ACID REFLUX. My esophageal sphincter is fine too. Oh my God. I was kind of like, “yay!” and kind of like, “well, fuck.”


I wasn’t kidding. With my Dad’s palm tree in the back, it looks like I’m holiday, actually. It did not feel like a holiday.

I am currently taking Ratio-Domperidone - no sadly not this - which is a stomach mobilizer. Basically, we’re trying to see if I have Gastroparesis, which is when the food doesn’t move through the stomach quick enough. I looked it up (here we go again, right?) and I have all the symptoms of it. We’ll see. Fuck. We’ll just have to see.

I have a food post in the works that’s basically going to be about my three food categories: “Yes”, “No” and the all-important “Sometimes”. Throughout this, I believe it’s important to experiment and not just rely on what you read once you get less scared and begin to kind of know your reflux. But that’s for another time.

Woo, that’s all for now. As I am writing this I feel hesitant about posting it. Is it too personal? Too weird for a second post? Too much information? But fuck it – I was going to write about it sooner or later.

If you want to rant about your shitty and helpless health problems, please do so in the comments.

Goodbye now.

Type Camp 2013

Woo, new era, new blog! It’s been a while, so bear with me here as I ramble and probably swear a lot. It’ll be fun. Just stay for a while.

So I want to talk about Type Camp for my first post on On This, On That because a) I wanted to share my experience and b) a good lesson (for me, at least) came out of this experience.

Type Camp does workshops, over different time periods, and all over the world, about typography and design in an awesome and supportive environment. When I signed up for my first Type Camp script lettering workshop back in April, I had no experience with hand lettering and my knowledge of type was at the bare minimum. I don’t come from a design background – I have a BFA in visual arts and majored in painting – so I was quite nervous that I would be intimidated by all the designers and design students around me, but once I arrived and we started, I forgot all about my apprehensions. Type Camp founder Dr. Shelley Gruendler makes it a point that all Type Campers are each other’s support, inspiration, and comrades in learning, and there is no room for competition or self-defeat, which is seriously the best, especially for someone like me who is constantly comparing myself to others when it comes to skills and accomplishments. I think it’s important to remember that people are better at some things than others, and that doesn’t decrease the value of anyone’s work.

This October, I signed up for a calligraphy workshop that took place for two days over the course of two weeks. We had one workshop, then two weeks to practice and do a small homework assignment, and then we went back for the second one. The workshops were with Shelley, Laura Worthington, and Martin Jackson at the brilliant John Fluevog in Gastown.

On a side note, the office at John Fluevog is AMAZING. It was such a privilege to be able to work there.

Left: the view from the worktable. Awesome. Right: Gizmo! 

We started with Italics and then moved onto Black Letter and flourishing towards the end. Shelley, Laura, and Martin helped each person on an individual level and gave a lot of encouragement (which we now must respond with “damn straight!”). On the first day, I found Italics to be less difficult, and Black Letter to be a bit more difficult. It was baffling because it seemed like all I had to do was put some lines down and a letter would form but my letters looked like blobs. BLOBS! THAT WASN’T AN ‘A’, IT WAS A BLOB! I looked around the room and everyone else seemed to be doing well, but I didn’t feel bad about myself at all. I put my pen down and took time to look at how everyone else was approaching it to see if I could pick up on what they were doing. During the two weeks in between the workshops, I practiced a lot. There are no blobs to be seen to this day. Hurrah.

Left: From Martin's italics demo. Right: Martin did the black letter, and Laura added the flourishing.

Our homework was to pick a quote and write it, incorporating all the things we learned at the workshop. We were told to do as much as we could, rather than be pressured to make a final product on fancy paper, etc. I picked a quote from Shakespeare’s The Tempest (good ol’ Shakespeare. I picked him for London study abroad nostalgia feels).

  Shit, I did not realize this Instagram thing would be so massive.

On the second day, we did some warm up activities and then looked at everyone’s assignments. They were all fantastic. Martin showed us a few different calligraphy pens and tools, which were a treat to work with. Then we picked names out of a shoebox lid and wrote each other’s names as a kind of final big project. Afterwards, we did an activity where we did one component on a sheet of paper, then passed it over to the next person to draw on. It was interesting to see everyone’s styles come out as they got more comfortable with the tools and technique. 

Top: Ink and magical pens of magic. Left: Photo of me that I nicked from the Type Camp twitter. Right: From when everyone completed the names they picked!

As for the group of Type Campers. Everyone was so nice, open, social, and massively talented. Just awesome. I'm not an outgoing person, but I felt really relaxed and comfortable talking to everyone as we were working. Some of us even went out to lunch together, which was additional fun! Lots of dog pictures were shared. I look forward to keeping in contact with them. For pictures of us (eyes open AND closed), check out the Type Camp blog. 

Look at everyone's work! So good.

Cheesy time coming up. Not sorry. So, I said there was a lesson I learned from Type Camp, and it wasn’t just regarding forgetting feelings of competition. Which, if I didn’t stress before, is a really important thing to keep in mind (with anything in life, really). But what I came to terms with during these past few weeks was the idea that when you’re learning something new, DON'T WORRY IF IT LOOKS UGLY. Just stop caring so much about it! I think it’s easy for me to put pressure on myself to make things look good, especially when other people can see what I’m producing, but this time I just told myself to relax and to laugh it off if it looked bad. I only upset myself and stress myself out in the end, so why do it? Boom. Done. 

For more info on Type Camp, visit http://www.typecamp.org. I would highly recommend attending a workshop if you can. 

Until next time!